Inner Fat Girl

OMG!!

This weekend was horrendous just as planned! I had hoped that by preparing myself for such a horrible weekend I would be over conscious of my diet choices, but I was definitely not! Saturday wasn’t a bad day at all since I was in my usual routine. However, Sunday the trip to the mall occurred and let me tell ya, was definitely tight on my belt!

I started the morning off good knowing that we’d be at the mall all day I packed a sandwich and brought it along. I figured I’d eat it right before we went inside and I wouldn’t be hungry until we left. Boy was I wrong. I ate the sandwich before we even got to the mall. My tummy was grumbling and I needed to eat something. So I did. Unplanned, we met up with my family and within 20 minutes of walking into the mall my dad had hit up Auntie Annes for pretzels. I devoured them. I hadn’t eaten something that sweet (cinnamon sugar pretzels) in a while and it felt like I was a crack addict relapsing. But it gets worse. My dad for father’s day only wanted one thing. GOLDEN CORRAL! First off, they are known for a chocolate fountain which I knew would be too hard to pass up. Secondly, the possibilities were endless. When we walked in I knew it was going to be bad. I was hungry so my eyes were bigger than my stomach, and I literally felt like I had died and gone to heaven. Pshh… and realistically in who’s version of Heaven do you have to diet? 

So my journey through the buffet began. The first thing I picked up were hush puppies. I moved on then to mac and cheese, sweet potato casserole, and then I landed on the rolls. Ohhh sweet lawd the warm toasted heaping rolls. (When I mentioned a crack addict relapsing, I am the equivalent only with CARBS!). I ate rice and then decided some protein would be nice. Where did I go then? To the popcorn shrimp. I devoured that first plate. I knew I should have stopped but I hadn’t even hit the dessert bar yet! So on my walk up to there I stopped for some mashed potatoes, and you guessed it… another ROLL! Added a cupcake, small piece of fudge, cotton candy, and two scoops of my favorite ice cream MINT CHOCOLATE CHIP! Now at this point, I’m about to explode so this plate didn’t go as quickly. I took about two bites out of everything except the ice cream and roll. While sitting there looking at my family still eating I couldn’t help but begin to regret my decisions. I felt sick, bloated, and most of all GUILTY! I told myself I was going to go straight home and run– I knew though the chances of my going out for a run were about as small as my pants felt at the moment. I had an hourish drive home and knew all those starches were going to put me to sleep. 

When we finally got home the first thing my fiance and myself did was walk our dogs. They had been locked in the kennel for nearly the whole day and needed to get some energy out of their systems and I knew I needed to burn some of those unwanted calories because I had just bought some nice new pants that I needed to fit into for work the next day! We took them on a longer walk than usual and I started to feel better because I was up moving. By the time we got home it was going on 10:00 and I was exhausted–shopping does that to me (well I guess so does eating a shit ton at Golden Corral). I knew I was done for the day and went straight to bed. When I woke up this morning I was STILL full. I felt disgusting. I knew I needed to eat something before work or else I’d be starving by lunchtime so I ate a small bowl of fruit (no protein), which I’m regretting now. I was debating on even packing a lunch since I foresaw myself not being hungry at all, but I went ahead and packed leftover tuna, grapes and pita chips. Before I left for work I checked what my scheduled Insanity workout was for the day and saw it was only the fit test (which isn’t near as fast paced as the other workouts). This bummed me out because I know I’m going to need something quicker to make myself feel better about this weekends decisions. Especially in regards to my last post, I didn’t even get my yoga in for the day off. 😦 When I get off work I am going straight into my Insanity workout and plan on doing two sections of it and going for a run tonight! I understand  it’s ok to have a bad day but if this is how I’m going to feel after each bad day I want to stay on track as much as possible. 

To celebrate a small victory and to not end this post so negatively, I noticed Saturday (my last day of Insanity), I was on day 13 out of 63! This is the farthest I have been into the program! I’m really hoping to get all the way through it this time and stay on task! My goal for after work is to jump right on Insanity, do the two sets (my scheduled fit test and I’m debating either pure cardio or pylometric circuit) and reward myself with a nap or relaxation on the couch since it’s a rainy day and that’s all I’ve wanted to do ALL DAY. Hopefully, I can get back on track (so far so good) and stay motivated because I typically fall off after having a bad time. 

I need to remember that the only thing holding me back is myself and that I can do anything if I want it bad enough! 

 

It’s Friday, Friday, Gotta Get Down on Friday!

Ahhhh… I have been counting down the days till Friday all week. (Well since Wednesday at least). It has just been one of those tiring/draining weeks where everything/everyone is getting on your last nerve. I think it’s because of Orientations and I’m working with people I don’t usually work with and their attitudes aren’t always the best unfortunately. Because of this crappy mood I’ve been in I’ve been exhausted the past couple days but I have pushed through in my workouts. I might not have had the best Insanity workouts but because I have jumped back into running I felt it compensated for that. My runs help me just relieve all that tension I have from work and I have been picking the pace up rather than a slow jog for a longer period of time. My goal on Thursday was to run 3 miles under 25 minutes. Unfortunately, I didn’t set that goal until I was at almost 23 minutes on the treadmill and had a ways to go still. But, when I picked up the pace I finished at 25:15 (15 seconds over :(). Yesterday, since I knew this goal was what I wanted I picked it up and finished in 24 minutes. I wanted to die when it was over because it didn’t help that I had just eaten dinner. ICK! When I came home my fiancé had on the NBA game so I laid there watching it with him and passed out. (I tend to do that anytime we’re just lounging around watching TV at night. It drives him up the wall!) Today is the last day of Orientations at work so I’ll go back to my usual routine next week. I get the whole weekend to relax and rejuvenate myself. I used to periodically do yoga and could feel it help me relax so my plan is to get in a least one session over the weekend. If I remember right my rest day for Insanity is coming up and I’ll take that day to do yoga and run. I am ready for this weekend. Typically, the weekends are my bad days solely because I’ll either go home or do something outside of my regular routine of the week which results in bad food choices. If I go home I’m not always lucky with my dad making me a “healthy” version of what they would eat. This weekend I’m only worried about Sunday. My little sister is wanting to make a day trip back to the city to go to the mall and asked if I wanted to go. Since I have nothing better to do with my life I agreed and will be running around with her all weekend. This is where I can get in trouble. I foresee us going to lunch, getting ice cream, etc. I’m hoping that isn’t the case but when these trips occur it’s always about splurging. I know that I have been strong lately so I’m sure I can resist the urge. My sister also informed me last night that she was told by one of her co-workers there is a crossfit gym in our town. I plan one day out of the weekend to go search for that and possibly give it a shot–depending on how much it will hurt not only my body but my budget as well. 

Whelp… that’s pretty much all I have since the last post. I’m ahead on my morning routine this morning so I figured I’d post something to help me throughout the day. It is mind over matter and I can do anything I set me mind to!! I just know my goals wont come easy and that I must work hard for them!

Withdrawls

Man oh Man do I miss this. Over the weekend I went back to my hometown to visit my parents and didn’t have access to a computer/take time to sit down and write out a post. Throughout the weekend I felt like a crack addict. I noticed myself thinking about my blog and how I hadn’t posted and that I need to really be conscious of my diet choices along with my workouts. By the end of the weekend I was wearing thin and caught myself saying at 11:00 I was going to get ice cream!! I had been doing so good all weekend and I about blew it for a late night craving. This weekend was much needed. I took a break one day and didn’t workout but still stuck to my food choices with the exception of those wandering thoughts and a dinner out with my fiance’s family. That meal may not have been the healthiest but I controlled my portions and think overall I did well this weekend. My dad does his best when I am home to cook according to my diet because they know that if not I wont be eating their meals. He decided to craft up his own version of a spinach burger. He put chives, spinach, and oats in them with Swiss cheese melted on top. They were really good compared to anything I usually cook at home. 

Today I’m back in my routine which is exactly what I need. I will get back on my Insanity after work and will go for a run later tonight. We didn’t get a chance to walk the dogs all weekend so we’ll for sure have to put that in the agenda as well. I am hoping that I don’t die out before I get all this done since I have been up earlier than usual today. This weekend I caught myself admiring the results I have seen from working out but could tell yesterday and this morning that I hadn’t worked out. It put a little damper on my mood but only reminded myself what I had been working so hard for. Trying not to be too hard on myself I felt my day off yesterday was well worth it and will only help motivate me to get through my workouts today. 

It is a beautiful day and I’m excited to see what the rest of it has in store for me!!